Advice for First-Time Mothers
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Advice for First-Time Mothers

The first ammunition you need is a good primer on child development. Don't just rely on instinct. Instead, acquire a book that makes you understand how a baby develops. A baby's growth is very fast, with each stage having easy and difficult points. Familiarize yourself with these points before and not after they happen.

                               first time mother

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"I am an expectant first time mother. Lots of advice I get are confusing. I desperately want to do my best in rearing our child. How can I tell which advice to adopt?"

One way is to look at your friends and acquaintances. Which of them are raising the kind of children you like? Look for acts and attitudes that help you bring more peace, joy, and tranquility into your family. Discard those that create worry and tension. Choose concepts that make your task reasonable and realistic.

The first ammunition you need is a good primer on child development. Don't just rely on instinct. Instead, acquire a book that makes you understand how a baby develops. A baby's growth is very fast, with each stage having easy and difficult points. Familiarize yourself with these points before and not after they happen.

Review the way you were brought up by your parents and follow the facets you believe are relevant and desirable. Eliminate those practices you detested as a young child and find out the reasons why you objected to them. Discuss this issue with your husband. Glean from his background techniques his parents successfully applied in molding your ideal man.

Assume the position that you and your husband should share the responsibilities, duties, and pleasures of parenthood. Both of you should be in charge of the baby. Leave him with the baby to watch, cuddle and coo while you are in the kitchen or when the nursemaid is out of the house. Expect him to change diapers and warm the bottle, too.

Motherhood is not a popularity contest. You and your child will not always be loving to each other. Expect differences of opinion. There are stages in growth when your little one will say "no" to every statement you make. Take this as a temporary phase of his development.

Respect your child as an individual who develops his own tastes, choices, and preferences which don't necessarily coincide with yours. Don't fret or worry. Remember your child is a combination of two sets of genes.

You are your child's first teacher. His mind is like a blank slate. Make sure he absorbs all the good and the best you and your husband can offer.

The most important stage of life is from birth to age six. This is the time to inculcate good habits - obedience, cleanliness, order, love of God, getting along with other people, sharing, learning languages, honesty, respect, thoughtfulness, and consideration for others. After the age of six, learning becomes much more difficult.

In rearing your child, do not be possessive. Separate your identity from his. Give a helping hand, but do not forget that you are two different people living in two different skins. When he does not win a prize, it's his failure, not yours. Rejoice with him in victory and sympathize with him in defeat, but do not blame yourself for his errors. He has an independent mind and makes most of his decisions.

Minimize saying "no." Reserve your conflicts for bigger issues. When your child asks whether he can bring his friend again today, instead of saying "No, not again!", you say "On Saturday, yes you may."

When you hear other mothers brag about how their two-year-old can read words and recite long poems, don't feel intimidated. (Who knows how true their claims are, anyway). This does not brand you a failure as a parent.

Never push your child in matters that are important to you. Allow him to grow at his pace.

No matter what happens, always keep your sense of humor. Laugh and make everybody laugh. Think of funny anecdotes to share at mealtimes. Laughter brings sunshine even on a cloudy day.

All human beings want to be perfect, mothers included. But for your sanity, don't even try it. Just be yourself.

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